Suzanne Schultz Pick

  • Disappointed but safe

    Today was supposed to be the day Jack celebrated his birthday early at nursery before Christmas break. It’s something we’d had planned for weeks and something I was looking forward for him because last year he just had us. This morning I put him in his “2” T-shirt, got his cake ready, Steve took him to nursery only to find out that some of the staff had Covid and Jack had to come back home. Disappointed doesn’t even cover it because I just want him to have normal, happy occasions and this virus keeps interfering. It’s one thing that we can’t see our families but now my kid can’t even have a party at school. I’m thankful that he doesn’t have Covid, that we’ve started our Christmas break together, and everyone is safe and healthy. Maybe he can do his party at the beginning of the year. At least he’s too little to really know what’s going on. I feel bad for the teachers who are now stuck in self isolation over the holiday though. I can’t imagine that disappointment as well.

  • December is not for the weak

    I planned on doing my final podcast episode on how much things have changed now that we have a two year old (almost). This stage is not for the weak! There isn’t a lot of rest and a whole lot of tasks that need doing but they can’t get done because Mum had to wrangle the toddler at the same time. Lots of running around. Lots of stress to the point where I get really overwhelmed and have to just accept that things won’t be done perfectly (if at all). I read an article the other day that said stress is frustration over trying to control things. There are lots of things I try to control and it stresses me to no end. How to not want control? Pick your battles, I guess. If the kid wants to run around in just a nappy before dinner, fine. If I drop a sock and it doesn’t get into the wash, fine. If bedtime isn’t exactly the same time each night, so be it. Life is messy and trying to keep it clean will just frustrate me.

  • Home is where my things are

    Jack and I have been home for two days now. He hadn’t been 100% at nursery earlier in the week with a high temperature and a cold. On Wednesday he woke up out of sorts and spend most of the morning screaming and fussing at me. Needless to say, we stayed home and I gave him a chill out day. Today I’m run down and my back is absolutely killing me so I opted out of a walk or our Little Mover class because I just needed us to be home again today. It’s windy and cold anyway. So, instead, we’ve been getting our fill of Disney movies and staying warm indoors.

  • Being “just” a mother

    I read an article recently about how being mostly a mother and nothing else, or what we used to be, is fine for now. I have to say I agree. I am too shattered to think or speak coherently anymore. I don’t have time to myself. I sit down and immediately have to get up again because my son needs something (or is into something he should). All of the aspirations for things I’d like to do (gym, spa day, shopping, reading, etc.) just aren’t going to happen easily. I have to take time off work when my son is at nursery. That is the only time I have a breather and then I feel bad because I’m wasting time without being with him. It’s not just mom guilt, it’s complete boredom. So for now, and for a long while I hope, my being a mother is who I am and what I do. Trying to put anything else on top of that just stresses me out when I know it’s never going to happen.

    herviewfromhome.com/motherrho…

  • Knowing when to quit

    Well, it’s been quite busy for me lately and I’ve been completely exhausted. I’ve ended up having to withdraw from two online business classes I signed up for when I had more energy and more enthusiasm.

    The trouble with things like courses is that they expect you to keep being able to do homework when you have one break in the day and you are too tired to keep your eyes open during that break. So it’s a bummer and quitting is bad, blah blah, but I cannot be bothered by that anymore. I know my limitations now, or accepted them really, and nope. No business classes for me.

    All I have time for is work and watching after Jack, so that’s what I do. We’ve started going to Mummy and Me classes more (now that we aren’t both still sick) and I stopped entertaining the idea that I have energy, brainpower, or availability to do much else. That is something I don’t think I really got until recently when everyone was sick for a while (we’ve been sick a lot this year).

    The important things are the ones I have to be mentally present for, and that’s why I have to step back and stop trying to do all the things because I just can’t.

    This is also a message for anyone else who has heard their whole life that “not enough time” is an excuse. It’s not. Not always. There are things we would like to do but it’s not essential so we scrap it.

    I really should write about about how under-achieving is a perfectly good goal.

  • An update for August 2021

    I guess this update is just to mention that having a toddler is a full time job. I’ve started feeling that even picking up my phone is spending time away from my son. (He takes the thing out of my hand most of the time anyway.) I’ve tried to keep some of my me things on the agenda but getting to Slimming World or the gym is just impossible. I guess I have the option still, but I’m trying to get less disappointed when I can’t leave the house for things I have scheduled for myself. I was able to go to the osteotherapist the other day, which was a godsend. Next week I have to go to the eye doctor as well, so fingers crossed I can make that appointment too. (Trying to work with contacts that cause major eye irritation isn’t ideal.) Writing is out of the question. Reading is out of the question. Bullet journalling is manageable if I do short, quick sessions. Blogging? If I have time when Jack naps. Podcasting? Not really.
    If I go out of the house, it’s for work. We tried doing some family fun activities and it just ends in lots of tears and a lot of not enjoying ourselves because Jack is upset and frustrated. So if you have a friend who is a mother and you don’t see or hear from her much anymore. It’s not because they don’t want to keep in touch, it’s because all they have the mental energy and time for is being at home to wrangle a toddler.

  • Rest and recovery

    I’m grateful for the nice weather today (73F!) so I can sit outside and let these two play. After a doctor’s visit who said Jack was fine, then an urgent call from nursery the Monday after that lead to a trip to the hospital, we need the time out. Jack has tonsillitis and I have a cold. Steve’s had his 2nd jab and we’re all just at home, per usual, making the most of it. I’m glad I haven’t been taking him to swim lessons lately because he’s been so cranky and not sleeping well (which means I am not sleeping well). He’s on antibiotics and Calphol to keep the fever down. Then waiting an hour before he can have some milk or something to eat. He hates the antibiotics as well, so we get him to swallow what we can. He has throat spray to numb it before he eats too. Poor baby is still wanting to play and seems to be feeling better, thankfully.

  • Focus

    I spilled my Starbucks coffee the other day. I took Jack out of the stroller to get him in the car and the whole thing tipped over. Coffee gone. I had had two sips of it, max, because we still wear masks in the mall so I couldn’t walk around sipping coffee and enjoying my life. It was a day where Jack wasn’t feeling well and was having tantrum after tantrum. He didn’t want snacks because he hadn’t been eating much at all. Wasn’t interested in walking in his little backpack leash thing, and just wanted me to hold him. We did get him some new, properly fitted shoes, at Clarks though. But the coffee was just for me to treat myself and when it spilled I knew that I needed to just stop trying to do other things not on the list. It sounds silly but plenty of mothers feel the same way. There is such a desire for something of your own (for me it’s, writing, bullet journalling, blogging, reading, exercising, doing my Avon) and it just isn’t going to happen. It’s not even a case of time completely, it’s a case of it just not being worth the endeavour. It’s like when we planned on going out for Steve’s birthday. We were going to have breakfast together in town while Jack was at nursery. Instead we had to take him to a Covid testing centre because he had a fever. Our little whims aren’t on the list of importance and as much as I try to work around it, I’m just going to have to accept that I’m it in to win it with this #MumLife thing.

  • Sunny bank holiday

    If it’s one thing I’ve learned about being British it’s that we don’t squander our nice weather days. Even when the sun attempts to peek out, we are outside, ready for summer. For the last couple of days we’ve been making the most of the 66F degree weather, which doesn’t sound like much to a Floridian (heck, that’s autumn temperatures) but over here it means we are comfortable outside without a coat. Thursday we went on our first date together since before Jack was born, Friday we took him to Tynemouth Aquarium finally, Saturday we took a walk to The Baltic and had lunch on the Quayside. Today Jack had a bit of a cough and a snotty nose so we skipped swim lessons and stayed home. Steve went to the allotment this morning while Jack, Daisy, and I played in the back garden. Sunblock was required!

  • Down on the Farm

    We visited Down on the Farm today. Nice little place with animals and play areas for kids. Jack is still a bit too little for all of that but he liked waving to the other kids. He waves to the animals too, which is adorable. We saw little pigs, goats, sheep, deer, meerkats, alpacas, cows, a donkey, and a tortoise. We even took a tractor ride to the top of the hill and had a lovely view all the way to The Pennines. Just a nice morning out and only stayed an hour or so. This included much needed hanging out time by the cafe with a hot drink. I totally recommend it.

    https://www.downatthefarm.co.uk

  • Self isolation March 2021

    I had to self isolate at the beginning of February and now Jack has to self isolate for the first two weeks of March. This means we’ve been at home a lot. I’ve been trying to keep a (now) 14 month old and a goldendoodle content from 6AM to 8:30PM. It’s exhausting, yes, especially when we can’t even go out for walks or drives. I enjoy being home with them though and I’m honestly sad that the prospect of life going back to “normal” may start within a few months.

  • Still. At. Home.

    Today is one of those days. I’m tired of being at home. I’m sick of not being able to take the baby anywhere, or go anywhere as a family. It’s been snowing for days and it’s lovely to see from the warmth of the house, but, wow, this is just frustrating. Lockdown won’t be over anytime soon, I’m sure, and I’m running out of ideas for how to keep Jack entertained. I just hope he enjoys being home with us. At least Daisy has been able to enjoy the snow.

  • What did I do before?

    I’ve been sitting here, listening to the rain, in the spare room on the computer while Jack sleeps in his room. I’m trying to remember what I did before he showed up in my life. How did I spend my time? Did I watch TV? Did I sleep? I honesly can’t remember what my evenings we like before we had him.

  • Writing keeps the boredom away

    This is going to sound really dumb, but it took me until this year to realize that people are creative to ward off boredom. I was always so incredibly bored all the time and it’s a horrible feeling. I had read that smart people don’t get bored because they always think of things to do, so now I keep trying to write because, otherwise, I am bored out of my ever-loving skull if I’m not looking after Jack.

  • Snow in the New Year

    This morning we were greeted with snow. Steve took Daisy for a walk and I took Jack on the back patio to experience the snowflakes falling on him. He seemed happy and interested in this, so I figure he’ll be a proper snow lover like Steve. This weekend is Steve’s last couple of relaxing days before he’s back to work. I’m guessing we’ll be staying in. https://suzanne.micro.blog

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